Deleted.

Ok, my apologies for taking a break from blogging. So you-----you know who you are-----HERE! Here is another post from my crazy life. Enjoy.

Deleted. Banished. Kicked Out. Expunged. Removed. So many words to describe what recently happened to me on Facebook by my sister. Yes, I said my sister. We haven't been close for some time now....too many stories and traumatic events to go into at this time, and there are a few of you that know them all. I want to take a moment and thank you right here and now for being there. For keeping me sane. For letting me vent, yell, cry, and talk my way through everything. You are more precious than I could ever write in a silly blog. Xoxo.

That being said, my sister deleted me as a friend on Facebook. We engaged in an argument while messaging each other, which really means that I didn't see things her way, and decided to not give in and conform--which always results in a battle of some sort. I later went to find a picture I knew she had on her Facebook page, only to find that in order to look at the photo, I needed to be her "friend." Had it come to this? Was she really this petty? Had she made the decision to cut me out of her life completely? Evidently so, as I looked at the screen, with her smiling face looking back at me, in utter astonishment and shock.

I can't even begin to explain all of the emotions I feel about this event. I keep attempting to type something profound enough to describe to you how I'm feeling, only to erase it and start over. The only word close enough to describe what I'm feeling is "HURT." In addition, I also feel some strange sense of relief and peace---a sort of freedom you get after being released from a toxic relationship. There are so many people that think Chris is the most wonderful, amazing person----always happy, always willing to help, always there for you. It's a facade. She's a brilliant actor. Making you believe exactly what she wants you to believe. There are only a few of us who see right through all of that------the people who will call her out and insist she hold herself accountable for her actions. To admit she's not perfect. To help her understand that there are other opinions in this world. Did I mention that she's getting married in July, and I'm not invited? And she's marrying a Pastor----which is interesting, considering that she doesn't seem to be acting very "godly" these days. Or maybe she saves her anger and mean streak actions for ME.

For those of you that are still left in her world, do not be surprised if one day, when you challenge her master plan, that you get deleted, too. I'll be here to welcome you.

The sweetest things.......

As this weekend comes to a close, I happened to get the pleasure of experiencing one of the sweetest things in life: listening to my husband singing with Amelia. I am doing dishes and cleaning the kitchen as I hear them in the living room. They are laying on the floor together, curled up and facing each other, singing songs like "Jesus Loves Me" and "This Little Light of Mine" and other songs that simply warm my heart more than words can say. 


It is really the cutest thing to hear them singing together---as I'm sure you can imagine. In fact, I'm getting all choked up as I type, just hearing those cute little melodies, and realizing how amazing my life is. Even more so, what a wonderful father Doug has become.....or maybe he's always been, and I don't notice often enough. 
He sang these exact songs when Abbi was a toddler, and I recall tonight how much I've enjoyed hearing him sing with both of the girls throughout the years. Thanks for being an amazing Daddy, Doug. I love you. :)


What a wonderful way to end the weekend!

Softball Season begins.....and it's serious!

Well, here it is.....another year of Softball for Abbi. She is on the Girl's 9/10 yr. old team at Mendon, and let me tell you........it's taken a bit of a serious turn. Let me preface this entire post with the fact that I'm not much of a sports buff, and am really not athletically inclined in any way. That being said...
It seems that softball is now way more competitive than I remember. Parents are pacing back and forth, stressed to the max because their daughter didn't catch the ball, hit the ball, didn't swing, didn't run fast enough, ran when they weren't supposed to, weren't paying attention......the list really DOES go on, but I'm certain that you get my point!

My question is THIS: Why aren't kids allowed to have FUN anymore?

It seems to me that kids are not allowed to simply have fun playing sports, or anything else for that matter. I guess it's our jobs as parents to make sure that things like this are still "fun"----but there are those parents who are constantly yelling at their child, putting pressure on them to be the BEST......and God help them if they don't do exactly as their parents say. I actually feel bad for the pitcher on Abbi's team, as her Dad (also Mom--but she's a bit passive compared to Dad) paces back and forth, coaching her from the fence. This 10yr. old child already has a pitching coach, as she is being groomed to pitch for High School.

**Side thought----I wonder if she had a CHOICE in all of this. If one day she said to her Dad, "I like pitching," and Dad went HOG-WILD and got her every pitching video he could find, set her up with lessons, and made her practice, even when she was too tired, or was too afraid to tell him "I don't want to pitch anymore."

I understand that as parents, we are supposed to cheer our kids on and be there for them, helping them to achieve their goals....yada-yada-yada. I just wonder:  When do you cross that line from being supportive to being psycho-obsessed?

It's needs to be said that Abbi is just an average softball player, and plays to have fun. Doug and I cheer her on and encourage her to do her best. It also needs to be said that there is an ALL-STAR 9/10 Softball Team that continues to play and travel to play other teams throughout the Summer.

Happy Softball Season everyone!

Mulch: My new best friend!

A friend once said, "Never underestimate the power of mulch." I'm thinking she is one of the wisest people right now, as I look at my yard with giddy excitement! I started out with 10 bags of mulch (thinking I would have so much leftover)....and then I went back to Home Depot 2 more times, making my TOTAL mulch purchase equal 40 bags, YES, 40!!!!
I must preface that my yard has been pretty much neglected for the past 2 years, getting only the least, absolute necessary care. Although I live on one acre, we have numerous flowerbeds and areas around the trees that used to have mulch, but now have more black plastic showing than mulch. Between childbirth, other surgeries, and moving to Interlochen last summer, the yard wasn't high on the priority list. I had many ideas that never had a chance of evolving due to the lack of time. This summer, however, I have decided to put the yard slightly higher on the list.....and it all began with mulch.
My once weed-filled flowerbeds are now clean and fresh looking!! The area around my trees are blanketed with mulch! The area where the dog is chained up now has a nice layer of mulch, instead of exposed dirt from the constant wear and tear. Mulch and more mulch everywhere! What a difference mulch makes! 

Mom, just tell me the truth.

OUCH......I hate when conversations start like that. As a parent, I am as honest and frank as I can be with my kids. Of course, this pertains to Abbi, as Amelia is way too young to even care. But with Abbi, it's a whole different story. Some of you know about my somewhat recent discussions with Abbi about the existence of Santa. You see, many of her friends no longer believe in the Jolly Man, and have teased her endlessly about still believing. I've tried to say, "Abbi, it doesn't matter what the other kids think; what you believe is YOUR business, and no one can tell you what to believe/not believe." My intentions were simple: to buy Doug and I some time to figure out how to handle such a delicate issue. I could have said that I was building confidence and self-esteem......that might have been a possible outcome, but frankly, I would be stretching the truth.Up to this point, our plan was working (or should I say the band aid was sticking pretty well.) Until today.
As we are riding home from church, Abbi pops out, "Mom.......is Santa real?" ---just like that! Out of the BLUE! I collect myself and ask her, "What do you believe?" She then busts into this huge conversation about how her friends think she is crazy for believing in Santa, The Easter Bunny and The Tooth Fairy----and told her that it was US doing all of it. (How rude is that?) 
You see, I think in the back of my head, my greatest worry was that if she found out about Santa and all of the others, that she would start to question as to whether God was real. And although I am a Christian, I was nervous about answering that......even though I believe with all of my heart that Christ is my Savior! God obviously knew that I need the words to say(of course he did), because my pastor's sermon was all about God: The Miracle Worker!  Pastor Paul went on about all 47 miracles that Jesus performed, and how each one is documented in the Bible------PROOF that they happened, and therefore proof that God is REAL. Pastor Paul also discussed other religions, and how they attempt to say their way/belief system is the only way.  Pastor Paul put it simply: "God is the only way, and the proof is on the 47 miracles he performed, that are documented in the Bible. And I'm following the guy who is doing the miracles!!! --and He's still doing them today." I love it!
Needless to say, Abbi now knows that there isn't a Santa, or an Easter Bunny, or a Tooth Fairy. We actually Googled the History and Santa, and the History of the Easter Bunny and discussed at great length the many traditions that other families/cultures follow. But with Christmas and Easter, it's so much more about Jesus, our Savior. Abbi never questioned me about the existence of God. I guess my worry was for nothing. 

Let Spring Begin!

It's 8:36pm, the birds are still chirping, and it's just getting dark. It's so exciting!!! I don't know about you, but this winter has been longer than I care to experience. About a month ago, I was really wishing that we lived in a warmer climate, and even considered packing everyone up to head south! And what's with all of the crud going around that is almost impossible to get rid of. People, it's time for SPRING!
Today I felt the most productive I've felt in a long time. Yard work will do that for me. I love laboring over my yard, and then admiring the work. In different situations, you may work at something for days or even weeks, often with no sense of accomplishment. NOT WITH YARD WORK! It's immediate gratification, my friends! The work you put in results in the beauty of your yard. It's very satisfying. :) I also loved that my entire family was in on the work. I love doing stuff like this as a family. Team-work is really what it's all about.
I hope you had a chance to get outside, maybe even do some yard work.....or maybe you just had time to open the windows in your house or car. Either way, I hope you enjoyed the day. More days like this are just around the corner!!!!!! 

The power of a crying 2yr old.

It's the middle of the night. Amelia starts crying, which is sadly a common occurrence in our house. It seems that she only wants her Mommy in the middle of the night. Doug has tried several times in an effort to let me sleep, only to have Amelia scream louder.....and then even the dog is awake. 


This morning, however, not even Mommy could soothe this child. She wanted a bottle, and it was either we fix one, or the screaming would continue. So, being the obedient and well-trained parents that we are, a bottle was fixed. She ate, and then promptly fell back asleep. Only after we tried everything else in our bag of tricks.


Now that's some serious power. We are like pawns on her chessboard. She has worn us down to the point that we will pretty much do anything in an effort to get some sleep at night. It's clear that Amelia is in charge......at least at night.


Abbi never had such ugly sleeping habits......which leaves Doug and I baffled and yes, sleep-deprived in a big bad way. My mom laughs, but also understands more than anyone, as she experienced this same night owl craziness.......with ME. 

Book lover.....translation: Anti-Nook/Kindle, etc.

Ah, books.......I love them. The smell of them, the texture....call me crazy, but they make me happy and bring a certain amount of comfort to my life. I usually have 3 going at once: a quick read, a more involved, change your life sort of read, a self-help book, a parenting book for reference, a bible.....ok, maybe more than 3! Haha!
I feel incredibly lucky that BOTH of my children also enjoy reading. --and thank goodness they do, as I would be baffled and disturbed at the idea of them not loving to read.

Which brings me to the huge issue I have with the Kindle/Nook, etc. I can't even pretend that this little piece of equipment is anywhere close to a book! There is something so much more intimate about a book: where it's been, who has read it, the creased pages, people who insist on highlighting profound passages (I also do this!). There is a richness to a book, that no machine could ever replicate. End of story.

HERE I AM!! :)

Welcome to this crazy blog world! Come and be "stuck in the middle" with me. :) For those of you who know that song, it is one that can always cause me to dance in some form or another. Pretty timeless, actually. It reminds of Summer---when all great dancing occurs! :) 


How out of control am I that I choose a Friday night to start a blog? I really need to slow down.... At any rate, here I am, sharing my life while I'm....stuck in the middle with you.